Empathy

I fear that we are losing our ability to empathize.
Being empathic is an integral part of being social and civil, and it is part of living Agape Love.

If because I refuse to identify with another human being, I cannot empathize with his/her/their life situation and find compassion for them in it, then I am probably living in some form of arrested human development.

When an ideological group refuses to identify with other human beings because they cannot see beyond themselves and those just like them, they lose their ability to empathize with others and begin to devolve as human beings.  When folk isolate from those not like them out of irrational fear, it often turns to hatred and leads to bigotry and hurtful words and actions.  Then folk devolve from their humanity.

The polarization by political party, ideology, religious expression, gender, age, race, ethnicity, socio-economic class, sexual orientation and other divisions has become so strong and vehement a reality in America that folk unashamedly choose not to empathize, but rather vilify, de-humanize and de-value others.

One might argue that I am doing the same in this writing.  I pray not.  I do believe that it has to be pointed out that the hateful words, actions and ideologies are becoming more common in our society and it means necessarily that some folk are intentionally, systematically and ruthlessly targeted and victimized.

This makes me angry.
I strive to live a guileless existence.  I strive to live the Agape Love that following Jesus demands.  I strive to be receptive to people of other cultures, ethnicities, faiths (or non-faith), sexual orientations and socio-economic levels.  What I see is that others (usually who look like me) passively or actively pre-judge, unjustly criticize and discriminate against many of the people I love.  Because of it, I also strive to "expose the works of darkness" whenever I have the chance, in order to inform, resist and eliminate the injustices suffered by people I love.

I am a straight, white, protestant male.  I was not born into wealth, but I recognize that I have achieved my successes and live very well partially because I am a straight, white, protestant male.  I have had doors opened to me simply because of that.  Early on it dawned on me that my friends who were black and brown, female, gay and/or poor were not treated as well as I was by people who looked like me.  Early on I recognized that this was wrong.  Later in my life, I started advocating for them.  That put me at odds with many people who look like me, some of whom are hard-core bigots, some of whom are fair weather bigots and some of whom have internalized bigotry of which they are largely unaware (but is painfully clear to those around them).

Living Agape Love is not about feelings.  It is active commitment on behalf of the other, even stranger or enemy and especially the most vulnerable among us, according to Jesus' teachings, commands and examples as we have them witnessed in the Gospels.  I have spent 41 years learning this.  I have spent almost 25 years actively living it as the guiding principle in my life.  While empathy has at its core some emotional connection, the living of Agape Love is about doing the right thing for the right reason.  Empathy helps.  It makes one able to identify with the plight of those who are different from the self and want to commit to their well-being.  It can be a huge advantage in the living of Agape Love.

I get passionate about this because it involves people with whom I share not only Agape, but also Phileos (brotherly, sisterly love) and Eros (romantic love), and Philanthropia (generous, magnanimous love for society and segments of society).  People I love are being intentionally, systematically and ruthlessly hurt because others in our society, in politics, in government, in economics, in business, in education, in healthcare - in America are actively pre-judging, speaking hatred to/about and discriminating against them.  That makes me angry.  That makes me respond with even more committed action on their behalf.

Where I am losing my ability to empathize is in even wanting to understand where the bigotry comes from.  Having grown up with it, I have no patience for where it came from or the reasons behind it.  I struggle to empathize with the hatred or apathy some hold regarding other human beings.  I struggle to want to understand why people would actively hold prejudice toward a whole people, speak ugly things about people about whom they know very little (out of ignorance), or act hatefully against them.  I struggle to understand how people can claim Jesus and support ideologies, politics and/or economics that actively hurt others so that they can gain from it.  I struggle to care about those who would vote, not just for self-interest (which itself is dubious for followers of Jesus), but actively vote for those who would actively hurt whole segments of our population, intentionally and systematically and ruthlessly.  I struggle to empathize with the hateful, ignorant and apathetic folk around me.

I am not as humanly developed as I would like to be.
I pray for the day when out of my mouth and from my keyboard will come only words of love and grace for all, empathy, compassion and encouragement to live Agape Love with one another in very kind, loving and gentle ways.

Right now, I am busy advocating for my sisters and brothers who are being hurt, by "exposing the works of darkness" (out of Greed, lust for Power, desire for Status or Irrational Fear) perpetrated by others who have chosen ignorant hatefulness over empathy.

Please bear with me.

Pastor Jamie