Matthew 18;15-20
I only knew ONE pastor who actually did this, in order, during a problem of a few people gossiping in a very hurtful way about a single mom in his Methodist Church. The congregation when through all the steps with him and two of the three perpetrators left the church, while the third repented. A year later, the pastor was asked to leave during a congregational meeting.
We do not do conflict well in our culture or our churches within the culture, partly because our churches reflect rather than address the culture. In the age of social media, it is way too easy to find things over which to have conflict with folks. In our communities, we are much more prone to talk about people with others rather than to them when we have a conflict, and even more likely to "gather forces" of agreement around us, rather than take our issue to a person directly. We do not seek objective persons to mediate in such conflicts. No one believes that ANYONE is objective anymore.
Tribalism rules in 'muriKKKa. If a person is of "our tribe," they are never wrong and we will fight like Hell to prove it. If a person is either the accuser or the accused of another tribe, they must be wrong. It is as true in our churches as it is in our culture.
Conflicts are common, but we are so tribal we cannot see ANY person or body as being unbiased or unprejudiced enough to help parties reach a solution. That is a problem.
It takes civility to understand and empathize with two parties in conflict. Each may have valid points, and our goal must always be to end conflicts through civil means. The civility of the neutral party is to bring cooler heads and hearts to prevail in conflicts. "Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God." Children of God value peace.
It takes integrity to go through mediation in conflict, integrity to consider the other party's perspectives and integrity to abide by the resolution to the conflict. "Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God." To see God, we must be people of integrity.
Empire's ways of greed for more wealth than others, lust for power over others and desire for status above others destroys integrity, civility, compassion and empathy. It is destroying ours because we ARE empire. Jesus taught us to resist empire's ways and specifically to live differently from empire's way. That is true in conflicts as well as in every other interaction with one another in our society. If we want to be called "children of God," and see God, we will be people of integrity, civility, compassion and empathy. If we are those people, the whole world will benefit.
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